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Name: amber


Interests: people in airports
Expertise: snacking and thinking about things
Occupation: student & teacher


Message: message me


Member Since: 12/5/2004

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Sunday, May 03, 2009

Currently
A Confederacy of Dunces (Essential Penguin)
By John Kennedy Toole
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i am going to grad school for real this time. and i am moving somewhere i've never lived before!

making choices is not fun, but it's fun once you've made them.


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Currently
Love Medicine: A Novel (P.S.)
By Louise Erdrich
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i like my life. it's nice to be me.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

when i get depressed, it usually begins around mid-afternoon of any particular day, and ends whenever the mysterious switch is flipped and i begin feeling better, usually in the morning.

sometimes, though, the switch is not so mysterious. i am an absolute sucker for cats and squirrels-- the former for their arrogant stupidity, and the latter for their spastic flashes of activity, realization, activity, realization, activity... I am convinced that squirrels do not possess any short term memory, or even any memory at all, and maybe cats don't either. at least, if cats do have memory, they don't have any realistic, sustained image of themselves to work from. for being such self-conscious creatures, they really have no idea what they look like. cats are very easily embarrassed, squirrels are never embarrassed. cats like to play the hunter, the lover, slinking (they think) mysteriously around the house, posing leg-up in perfect dignity, like a ballet dancer, to lick the place between groin and thigh. they think they are this, but they are actually the fat slob cleaning herself on top of the coffee table, anus pressed conspicuously against the glass, droopy post-kitten cat boobies spreading in all directions like pancake batter. and squirrels... well, what's there to explain about them? eyes like blank black marbles, only conscious of each individual moment as it passes. this is why, on you tube, you can watch a squirrel who has gotten itself drunk on fermented pumpkin try frantically to make it up a tree, tumble down head-over tail, pause to stare at the camera, remember where it is and what's it's trying to do, then go at it all over again. squirrels are so frantic they need breaks from thinking about every thirty seconds. this is why they pause so much. it's not that they're scared. they've just forgotten momentarily what they are doing, and don't know why they're sitting on a picnic table with a giant stick between their teeth. this is also why a squirrel will return to a trap, such as a squirrel catapult, over and over, though, on youtube, this may have been the same footage of the one squirrel played over the over at varying angles and speeds.

anyway, one last point. cats are funniest when they are stationery, unless they are leaping for things and miscalculating distances, and squirrels are funniest when in motion, such as when they are bolting across a lawn toward a toddler. especially if that toddler is ignorantly eating an ice cream sandwich.

so depression can be difficult, but often it is easily allayed by cats and squirrels.


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Currently
The Cloister Walk
By Kathleen Norris
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happy new year.

the library opens today. i am fighting against a maelstrom of post-christmas blues, and it helps to return to the sober old grindstone.

i am tired.

it is raining.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

What the Child Dreams after She’s Thrown a Tantrum

 

A thousand and one hills of toys

On fire, under a yellow moon,

Trees yawning into a blue valley.

 

Wild animals all a-fang as they nose

Cautiously from the bracken.

A mighty crack of thunder.

 

Trucks buzzing down the pass,

Spilling dazzling cargo at her feet

In reverence, in awe-spangled worship. 

 

She is five years old, and she is here 

As queen to welcome them all

To the great debacle of her rage.

 

She tells them, tonight will be their night

To confess, all the accidents

They’ve almost had while trying

 

To drive and eat tacos at the same time,

And all the lane changes they’ve made

Without using blinkers, but mostly

 

How they’ve left their daughters,

Wives, sons, alone in the houses of the mind.

Please forgive us, please understand

 

What it takes just to keep our eyes open

Between the long interstates of night.

O how they’ll grasp her hem and pray.

 

O yes how they’ll beg her.



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